It is really difficult to put into words what happened today in Vogan. We have struggled in the church there against some men who have made it their goal to divide the church and for more than a year have worked to that end. They have attacked and we have taught on reconciliation. Then they apologized and soon attacked again. Over the last year it has built up to the point where they respect neither man nor God and have only their own purposes in mind. It came upon us today, the sad work of asking them to step down as leaders because of their unwillingness to love and submit themselves to serve the believers there. We prayed with other leaders from concerned churches last night as well as this morning before heading from Tabligbo to Vogan. We went and from the moment we arrived, the fight was on. An oppression has been upon this church for months. It has been as discernable as the overcast of a winter sky. After the announcement asking the present committees and leaders to step down for a period of time, they one at a time began to assert themselves ranting and raving against all present. We prayed and listened and then just prayed and prayed. After four hours of this, the eight to ten of them, after wearing themselves out with senseless words of defense, finally departed from the building. Then singing began and praying continued. In the midst of the last hour or so, the joy returned and the cloud lifted.
I guess what I realized through this is that some of our sweetest moments in life, when joy bursts forth from us, occur not on the mountaintop but actually in the valley at the moment of rescue after the deepest longings have been finally realized. Then there is left within us an incomprehensible yearning to remain in the moment and savor that realization of joy brought about by the rescue, in other words a desire to be rescued yet again. This doesn’t compel most of us to dash headlong into destructive behavior in order to remain in the valley, yet in a sense it does cause us to cast off restraint and begin to live more boldly, willfully entering the dangerous valleys of others.
The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting. There, to have is to want and to want is to have. Thus, the very moment when I longed to be so stabbed again (with Joy), was itself again such a stabbing.
C.S. Lewis - Surprised by Joy
I was just asked last week whether our brand of church was a spiritual church or, actually they didn’t say what the alternative was. I guess the other option would be the physical genre, you know, the brick and mortar version. I know they were talking labels out there in the Atitogon area, much as we do in the states whereas we would substitute charismatic for spiritual, but I found it a great question to launch a 
challenging sermon on Sunday. I even had some physical help as the roof had just last week collapsed for the Adankonou Kope church.
If anything, shouldn’t we be a spiritual church, filled with believers who live by the spirit. John 4:24 is so very plain about worshipping in spirit and in truth. We’ve investigated the “truth” aspect to death and then we don’t want to really consider the “spirit” portion too much or we might get labeled “charismatic”. Ironically this label is more related to form than anything which invariably draws many into arguments about “truth” instead of “spirit”. Yet it goes so much deeper than that as we see in Galatians 5, Romans 8 and I Corinthians 12. Looking at first century believers who we seek to emulate, so often the outstanding characteristic that we read of is that they were “full of the spirit”. Truly we should strive just as earnestly to be spiritual then we would all be attending “Spiritual” churches.
By the way, we survived worshipping under the trees. It was actually very refreshing. Our kids thoroughly enjoyed investigating the ruins of the building, as well. Adankonou already has plans to build again but are currently investigating the building of the “spiritual” variety, first.
I don’t have any clue whatsoever why missionaries wear plaid shirts. Eight years ago, when I was in the capital city of Lome, a Togolese man asked me if I was a missionary. I answered in the affirmative and then asked him how he knew. He said it was the shirt. I looked down - plaid. I looked around at my
colleagues for the next few months, plaid, plaid, and more plaid. I tried to buck the system with my golf shirts, but someone sent me a plaid one. It’s the uniform I guess. It does make the decision making easier in the morning, though, and at least it’s not plaid pants! We got this great new car seven years ago. It was supposed to be the “next thing” in SUV’s. It was tough, it was agile and it was a Toyota Land Cruiser - Prado. All we saw was Land Cruiser (AKA - Land Crusher) for 10 thousand cheaper than the full size. We were on it. Between ours and the Kabiye team, we wound up with eight in all. Several years of working in Togo has a way of wearing you down, though. Our Prado’s have shown the resilience of a Prada (bag) that is. I just don’t think it was made for Togo. Sometimes we feel that way. A little beat up. We get repaired one or two pieces at a time then we go head to head with the pot holes, tree stumps, mud, and sand of Togo all over again. This photo tells it all.
Her faith has cost her. There is no peace in her home, but there is in her heart. She has suffered for her belief in Jesus. This sister, from the moment she turned her back on the idols, has been harrassed night 
and day from spiritual assaults of dreams and curses to physical attacks of persecution from those closest including rejection by her husband of food for her and their children. She has watched two of her oldest children die, and in the raw pain of the loss been blamed by her husband and his family for their deaths because of her worship of Jesus. The latest of these deaths came last week to her eldest child, Ablavi, for whom she is named (Ablavino means the mother of Ablavi). She is now left to care for Ablavi’s son. Ablavi’s husband abandoned her when she become sick. So, that’s where she is now, in her walk with Jesus. As we consoled her and sought to mourn with her, she, in turn, encouraged us. Out of the pain she spoke to us of how God will deliver her from the enemy’s attacks. She told us of his faithfulness and how he will never forsake her. I at times have wondered how much one can take, specifically how much she can take. Yet, with each test she grows stronger in both resolve and faith. Truly, the greater the cost, the greater the value attached. Ask Ablavino about the cost of her faith in Jesus and she will testify to you about an invaluable Savior.
This is what I want to be, clearly focused. It so happens that it is what I am usually not. I find myself meandering around, not knowing what to do next. I love this picture of my son Tanner right before he made contact. There is no stopping him. He is absolutely going to cream the ball. He is focused. The other day, I had finished my light theological diversion of a book and I actually asked God what I should read next. I desperately needed something deep and strong, something to challenge me and wake me from my lethargy. A book to give me clarity. God gave me just such a book. When I don’t desire God by John Piper has been a wake-up call for me. It was given to us by our dear friend and colleague, Frank Bunner on his recent visit to Togo in October of ‘06. He said it was terrific, but I guess I didn’t believe my friend who has never lied to me. I didn’t pick it up until three days ago and haven’t put it down sense. It has helped me realize how deeply I have sinned against God. I have withheld my love from
him and have sought pleasure in the temporal instead of the eternal. It amazes me that God has let me live, much less continue to work for him in this capacity. God, is asking and absolutely deserving of all the love I can give, appropriately summed up in Mark 12:30. True, right now I’m in a valley of sorts and it’s painful and difficult, but I celebrate the valley, because it has turned me back to him. It is in the valley that I focus on Jesus and my love grows even deeper from the ensuing rescue. I highly recommend this book to you, if you haven’t already read it. If you have, then shame on you for not telling me about it.
I guess it’s about time that I admitted it. After almost ten years of being in Togo, I have come to the conclusion that it is the role I am to embrace, with joy. I don’t know why I grew up perceiving missionaries as 3rd class citizens unworthy of emulation. Where was my snobbery from? I grew up to love Jesus, yet when I was challenged to consider missions, I recoiled with an ‘anything but that’ response (ironically it was literally “I will never be a missionary and I will never be a missionary in Africa”). Yet, here I am, in Africa, as a missionary. Logically, I have seen and embraced the good of it since before we came. Yet, in my heart, there has been the struggle against my long held perceptions that were now becoming self-perceptions. It went way beyond having to wear plaid shirts every day and eating things that were difficult to identify. In truth it was more related to the destruction of pride within me caused by depending on others and living larger than the small world I could control. More on this later. For now, though, I want you to celebrate with me that I am, now by desire, a missionary.
Mark 8:34 …”If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
We all long for it. Well, it has brought about change for me, the desire for efficiency anyway. It has prompted me to change my blog to this new location. Blogspot and Togo don’t do well together for some reason. So we are going to give wordpress a run and see how it turns out. With blogspot and the combined factor of Togo I was definitely exceeding my ten minutes to muse by a good twenty or so. As for Togo, we are doing what we can for it. We continue to share Jesus, continue to hope and pray, and we continue to share the vision. Change is coming, of course not as quickly as we long for it or shall I say not as efficiently as we would like. We know, though, that God is faithful and that with time, what God will do among the Watchi will exceed my greatest expectations and even my highest aspirations for efficiency.
